(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.)
(0:00 - 1:07)
Welcome to Part 5 of the Joy Reset Series. Today we're tackling something tender and very human, comparison or comparison-itis. You can be grounded in faith and grateful for your life and still scroll a highlight reel and think, shouldn't I be further along? Why don't I look like that? That happened to me recently.
Morning coffee, mindless scroll, and I saw a woman in my field soaring. A beautiful brand, thriving business, glowing captions, and oh so sweet and perfect family photos. For just a moment, something in me wavered.
It wasn't exactly jealousy, it was a softer ache and a voice that whispered, am I doing enough? Am I enough? And I felt joy begin to slip. Comparison doesn't shout, it whispers. It doesn't accuse, it suggests.
(1:08 - 2:02)
And because it's quiet, it can be spiritually and emotionally dangerous. So today we'll explore what comparison does to our joy, why we fall into it, and how to pull out with compassion, clarity, and a deeper awareness of how intentionally God created you. If comparison has been stealing your peace, you're in the right place.
Because today we're going to fix that. Welcome to Goals in Grace, the podcast for accomplished women who are ready to align their ambition with faith and step into their highest potential. I'm Reverend Juliet Spencer, a certified high-performance coach and former pastor, and I'm here to help you break free from imposter syndrome, embrace gratitude, and lead with clarity, purpose, and peace.
(2:02 - 2:46)
Each week, I'll share faith-filled encouragement, personal stories, and proven strategies from books like High Performance Habit, as well as from my coaching program, The Purpose and Peace Pathway, to help you achieve success without apology. You'll walk away with tools to lead boldly, live intentionally, and honor the calling on your life. Let's step into our calling together.
Don't forget to follow the podcast and share it with a friend who's ready to grow. Comparison often sneaks in not because we're vain, but because we care deeply. We want to ensure that we're on the right path and that we measure up.
(2:47 - 3:06)
Perhaps we've internalized hurtful comments from others, leaving us with lingering self-doubt. Or maybe it's the barrage of messages from TVs and movies and social media subtly dictating who we should be. Whatever the cause, comparison often stems from a desire for reassurance.
(3:07 - 4:10)
We want to know our lives matter, that our pace, appearance, and intellect are acceptable, that we are acceptable. Yet, comparison offers a false sense of evaluation. It's like holding up someone else's timeline to see if ours aligns.
But it's all smoke and mirrors, because we rarely compare reality to reality. We pit our everyday life against someone else's curated image. We hold up our behind the scenes to someone else's spotlight, assuming they have no insecurities or doubts.
And even when we know better, it still strikes a tender chord, doesn't it? Comparison shifts our focus from gratitude to lack, eroding our joy and contentment. For much of my life, I found myself trapped in the cycle of comparison. Walking into a room, especially at social gatherings, my first instinct was to size up every other woman in the room.
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Having received unrealistic and hurtful comments about my looks throughout my childhood and into my 30s, I was thin, yet convinced I was overweight. Later, depression led to actual weight gain, and the comparisons only deepened my sense of self-doubt. It wasn't just about appearance.
As a pastor, I compared myself to colleagues, often men, appointed to larger churches. This became a source of distraction and discouragement. I also measured myself against preachers whose skill I admired, which only fueled more self-doubt.
(4:54 - 5:10)
Even as a certified high-performance coach, the temptation to compare lingered. Watching other people's businesses thrive while mine struggled to take off was disheartening. But thankfully, I've learned to challenge these unhelpful thoughts.
(5:11 - 6:58)
Today, I'm grounded enough to recognize that comparison is a thief of joy. Instead of measuring myself against others, I focus on my unique path and the value that I bring. It's a shift from seeking validation externally to embracing my own journey with confidence and grace.
And you can too. Before we move deeper into this theme, I want to pause with a scripture that gently calls us back to truth. It's one that many of us learned early in our faith, but when comparison creeps in, we often forget its weight.
Psalm 139 verse 14 says, I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works that I know very well. There's something profoundly steadying about those words, because comparison tells us we're lacking.
Comparison tells us someone else is more gifted, more prepared, more supported, more everything. But scripture reminds us that we were crafted intentionally, woven together with wonder and purpose and divine care. The psalmist isn't boasting.
The psalmist is acknowledging the sacred craftsmanship of God. And if God's works are wonderful, then that includes you. Not the future version of you.
Not the polished version of you. But the present you, who is learning and still becoming, no matter how old you are. Comparison is untrue because it denies the goodness God has already placed within you.
(6:58 - 10:14)
It blinds you to the beauty God is nurturing right now. It distracts you from the unique journey God has entrusted to you. When Psalm 139 verse 14 sinks into your spirit, the question shifts from why am I not more like her to what sacred work is God unfolding in me? And that shift is where joy begins to rise again.
This is where compassionate self-reflection becomes essential. It's about acknowledging the divine craftsmanship within you and embracing the journey you are on. By practicing compassion towards yourself, you allow space for growth and transformation, aligning with the truth of who you are in God's eyes.
This gentle reflection invites you to see yourself through a lens of grace, recognizing the sacred work unfolding already within you. Have you ever found yourself questioning your worth because of someone else's success? Comparison steals joy by shifting our focus from God's work in us to what we perceive in others. It's not that their journey isn't beautiful.
Many times it is. But when our eyes fix on someone else's life, we lose sight of the ways God is shaping ours. We begin to question our pace, our worth, our progress.
We begin to treat our growth and, sadly, even who we are as less valuable simply because it doesn't look like theirs. You cannot run your race while staring into someone else's lane. Nothing will steal your joy faster.
Believe me, I know. And not only that, comparison often leads to us creating entire fictional backstories about people we barely know. Oh, she must have endless help.
He probably grew up with money. Well, if I had their marriage, her support, his opportunities... with assumptions that make us feel smaller. When we look at someone else's looks or their always-put-together-children-or-spotless-house-or- fancy-clean-car and then look at our own, it's easy and it's tempting to conclude that they're not only better than we are, but that they just have it all together.
We don't hear the screaming fit their youngest child threw getting dressed, and we don't see the mad dash they made getting the house company ready. But here's the truth. We see someone else's fruit, not their roots or their struggles.
We see their wins, but not their tireless effort they put into it. We see the moment God opened a door, but not the years they spent knocking, worrying, and doubting their worth. When we assume ease where there is actually perseverance, we rob ourselves of inspiration.
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Comparison takes a story that could encourage us and turns it into one that discourages us. Harmful comparison says, her success means something about me. She has more, so I must have less.
Healthy comparison says, that's inspiring. What can I learn from her courage, habits, and consistency? One diminishes, the other develops. One steals joy, the other sparks growth.
The key is direction. Does your comparison lead to self-doubt or curiosity, shame or learning? You choose, and then you train that choice daily. High-performance research is clear.
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Sustainable success dies when you measure yourself against others. The most effective leaders, the most joyful people, the most grounded Christians aren't looking sideways. They're looking to God, and they're looking inward to their calling and to their value.
Study others without abandoning your lane. Calling isn't a competition, and purpose isn't a race. In other words, joy doesn't grow in the soil of comparison.
Joy grows when you honor the work God is doing in you. When I finally stopped comparing how I looked with other people, with other women, I learned to embrace who I am, and for the first time, genuinely to feel beautiful inside and out. And you can do that too, with whatever it is that is tempting you to comparison-itis.
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When comparison grabs hold, notice it, name it, pause and challenge the story you're telling. You're seeing only one layer, not the whole life. Shift to healthy comparison.
Ask, what can I learn here? What habit, courage or consistency can I model without diminishing my own story? Where can I go to improve the areas where I can acknowledge that I need improvement without feeling unqualified, without feeling less than, without saying that I'm not as valuable or as worthy, and without comparison my worth to somebody else's? I can look in the mirror and say, where could I improve to get the life that God is calling me to live, and to enjoy the journey on the way? Return to your calling, and return to the work that's in your hands. Trust that God is working within you, and with God as your companion, you can take steps forward and still celebrate the unique gift that is you. Your journey isn't supposed to look like anyone else's, and your timeline is on purpose.
Your strengths, your battles, your healing and growth are a part of your own sacred life, your sacred design. Allow God to shape something in you that cannot be rushed or replicated or compared, and put your full and best self to grow where you believe you genuinely need to. When comparison slips in, return to Psalm 139 verse 14.
You are fearfully and wonderfully made. God's work in you is ongoing and precious. Joy returns when you embrace who you are and release who you think you're supposed to be.
(14:21 - 14:37)
So, this week, catch one moment of Comparisonitis. Notice it and name it. Then redirect your attention back to your own path, to your relationship with God and the steady unfolding of your calling.
(14:38 - 15:49)
Look in the mirror and say out loud, I am enough. I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and I have the capacity to continue growing. I have the capacity and the determination to be the very best of who I am, and that is enough.
If Comparison's grip has been stronger than you realized, the Purpose and Peace Pathway can help. I built the program so high-achieving Christians have a place where faith, emotional clarity, and high-performance habits meet. Not in pressure, but in peace, in joy.
You can find a link in the show notes to sign up for a free coaching call to see if the Peace and Purpose Pathway is right for you, or go to RevJulietSpencer.com. Until next time, my friend, may you let go of unhealthy comparison and find joy in the unique gift to the world that is you. Until next time, my friend, God bless.
(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.)
